Many of us know the pain of fatherlessness. Whether your father was not there in your life because of abandonment, death or even simply not being emotionally present, it can weigh heavy on our hearts. Especially when we become adults. As a fatherless daughter myself, it is easy for people to tell you that you need to move on with your life, that you need to get over it. But how do you get over longing for a father to love you, support you, protect you and even “see” you?
You don’t get over it…you must go through it. Through the process of healing, the process of love, acceptance and forgiveness. And if you skip this process, your life will continue to be plagued with many of the negative patterns associated with fatherlessness. Such as failed relationships, loneliness, pain, anger, rage, financial instability and so much more. At some point, you’ve got to decide “no more.” No more being stuck in the pain, isolation and confusion of not having the one man who was suppose to be there for you…not be there.
When I chose to do it another way…to seek wholeness over brokenness, to seek joy over sorry, to seek healing over pain and to seek me, over him…my life changed. While I never had the kind of relationship with my father that I so longed for, I chose to accept what was. I could never go back and rewrite a story that wasn’t mine from the first place. That was my mother’s and father’s story. It became my story when I realized the impact it was having on my life. That’s when I decided that my story would be different. It may never be what I’d hoped it would…but it could be better than I could have ever imagined.
In learning that my father’s story could have played a huge part in who he became, I forgave him. Even on the days, I felt he didn’t deserve it. But I did know that I deserved it and I wanted to be free from the pain, the chains that kept me stuck. I was worth it. I was worth being happy and free. I deserved to be loved and cherished by my beloved, I deserved to have abundance, health and joy. It was my defining moment. It is my hope that you recognize that it’s time to have a defining moment.
This community cannot fix, cure or take away your pain. It’s a place to share, connect and grow with other women who have been down that same road of fatherlessness. It can however, offer hope and healing to those who are ready to try something new, something that is proven to work. We have Certified Fatherless Daughter Advocates located throughout the US and five other countries. We also have online result driven programs that will start the process of healing for you. You have to choose a path that will give you what you need.
We are not broken women…we have been wounded and wounds can and do heal. Take the journey of love, acceptance and forgiveness. You’re worth it and it’s a journey worth taking. Life is so much more fulfilling on the other side of fatherlessness. You can flourish beyond your fatherlessness.